Absolutely Fobulous

When I was a little kid, my fobby mom kept trying to get me to squeeze my nose so I would have a “prettier” schnoz when I grew up.  Clearly, nose job technology has since evolved.  Mom, you should have bought this wonderful contraption for me instead.  And at $144, that’s obviously money well spent, right?

Link

(Thanks, Dunks!)

Other ridic fob inventions?  The Japanese wearable tent, the Chinese shovel for serial killers, and the knee bench for peeing men.

Okay, I know that a “beauty mark” tastefully sported on the flawless faces of supermodels, like Cindy Crawford, further defines their beauty. But, when you have 40-year-old Asian men trying to sport a hairy Marilyn Monroe, it doesn’t quite have the same aesthetic appeal.  Simply put, it’s gross.  Still, I had to investigate this curious phenomenon.

Myths exist in various cultures to define good vs. evil, bad luck vs. good luck, prosperity vs. poverty.  Asian cultures in particular focus on physical traits as an indicator of a person’s future. For example, large earlobes tend to signify a sign of wealth, a wide nose a sign of future prosperity. But perhaps the most curious of these facial feng shui trends is: the hairy mole.

If you spot an Asian man sporting a hairy mole, you’d better assume he’s hitting the jackpot, scoring with the women, and living on top of the world. Why? Legend has it that hairy moles are a sign of good luck. The longer the measly strands of hair are, the luckier you are. So, whatever you do, don’t pluck it!

To get a deeper understanding of this phenomenon, I consulted yahooanswers. Unfortunately, my otherwise trusty source of life answers proved unsatisfactory. I’m sorry yahooanswers, but I don’t think a scientific explanation of melanoma and skin cancer really emphasizes the “luck” in a hairy mole. Nor does age and indifference to appearance explain it–trust me, I’ve seen many a young man sporting the “lucky mole.”

Finally, I found a satisfying explanation for this lucky mole phenomenon. According to Chinese Fortune Calendar, hair indicates the mole is alive and, therefore, a “good” mole.

Until the luck of a hairy mole can be disproved, the myth will continue. Asian men around the world will continue to groom their most prized physical trait, and I will continue to refrain from all temptation to put my tweezers to use.